Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Commission: Volks SD Girl Traditional Basic and Princess Hanbok Part 3

Previous parts here:  One and Two.

There is a not pretty chapter behind the story of this project.  I've been extremely angry with myself over it, and couldn't figure out why I could not work on it.  I finally accepted the doctor's strong suggestion that I seek depression counselling (to shut her nagging up about the anti-depressants, mainly) and focused on what was really bothering me.  The major fails in my business since the stroke destroyed our cozy little life. This one innocent sewing project seemed to have taken on the entire issue of my husband having his stroke at the back of my mind.

I had said "You never know what might happen" at the time the customer and I first started discussing this project.  That was the thorn in my side.  After a long cry (gross and snotty) and still refusing the damned meds I don't need, I came home and pulled out the emails and the fabric and the project notes and just everything that goes with this project and let the bad stuff go.  I've been forcing myself to work on a project.  That is not why I took this project on.  I took it on because it's lovely and I learned a lot about Korean culture, and I wanted to do it!   And I learned how things can become the focus of anger and hurt and frustration when you don't even expect them too.  Like being afraid of something completely unrelated to the trauma that caused the fear.

I made myself let all the 'bad' go and found the good again. It's no use being angry and frustrated with all the things that went wrong when I was trying my best to do this.  It's a gorgeous project and I'm working every day on it again and the 'bad' connection just wasn't there this morning.  I held the skirt up (pins and all) and thought, yeah, this is great!  This is going to be adorable.  There will be photos in a day or two, I still have appointments this Thursday and Friday and then the weekend should be free to deal with things other than just the mechanics.

Edit: This project is now slated for an October completion, due to the headbands.  I'm still trying to figure out how they go, but will be putting up photos of the jackets soon.

Monday, August 25, 2014

------->> NOTICE <<-------!!!

Please don't panic if you don't see updates on your project posts.

Three factors are involved.

1. The heat really affects my hypothyroid and I am still not on medication.  I get very ill for no reason other than that, and it's caused by yet more added stress.  Added stress = hypothyroid symptoms worsening.  I got very ill this weekend and soldiered on with the simplest project rather than messing up the more complicated ones.  It messes with the nerves, which affects thinking, digestion, even my eyes working, and is very, very frustrating.   This only used to happen once in a while and at the time I thought it was the flu or something else; now it's happening a lot.  Apparently my thyroid is 'dying' or dead on one side.  Eugh.  Next month, I have appointments for a 'real' endocrinologist and a sonogram and all that.  Probably yet another thyroid operation. >.<;;  And it's going to take time for them to fine tune the medication I'll be on so it will make me as sick as I was with the first stuff they gave me.  Not something I'm looking forward too.

2. The heat affects our local cell phone power pole.  Heat, and rain, basically any excuse for them to make me take the battery out of my phone and put it back in and "you need to buy a  new phone".  It makes it impossible to get online or update sometimes, and then they cut me off for loading up photos.  Basically I don't know if they are all morons, or it's the NSA being paranoid.  Flip a coin.  But I have noticed that it's better on evenings when it's cool, and after rain, when everything dries up.  *squinty suspicious eyes* You'd think they'd be able to deal with that.

3. Your project may be at a point where a photo will make absolutely no sense.  Piles of pin stuck fabric, frying and threads hanging off.  This does not mean it is not being worked on.  Only that I'm too beat to make pretty and photo.  Things will get better.  See the end of reason 1.  I'm living for that medication.

Knock on wood, this week will be clearing up two projects and moving along on the complicated ones asap.  

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Car, At Last? Maybe? Today?

I called an hour and 5 minutes ago to find out if I have to cancel a Physical Therapy appointment tomorrow and the garage guy said with in the hour, he's just waiting for the Bureau of Automotive/CAP program to get back to him, and not to cancel the appointment for tomorrow.  So....ARGH I HATE WAITING!  It's passed smog, and all ready to go but he needs to hear back from the 'State'.

Hours of sewing not gotten done because of bicycling, walking uphill, paying too much for having to shop the local 'quicky marts', and being exhausted.  I might be very depressed if I didn't know that it's a natural mental state to be in under the circumstances, and that in about 3 weeks, I'll have that prescription for Hypothyroid medication that will make my life so much better.  And I found out today that the anti-depression medication, lithium, is now suspected to actually damage the thyroid and cause hypothyroid, which of course starts the endless self feeding cycle of destruction.  Wow.

So now I have to randomly wonder if they ever considered testing Robin Williams for thyroid problems, because while women are the main body of sufferers from hypothyroid, men do get it too.  And then conversation went back to the Ernest Hemingway family.  Makes you really think about how things go in the world of medications, doesn't it?

So yeah, get your thyroid checked and annually.  Another thing you have to watch is cholesterol.  I've said it before on my blog, then erased the personal posts, but if you have a family member who is loosing their memory and forgetting things, check and make sure they get some good fresh Omega 3 supplements, especially if they are on cholesterol meds for high bp.  I've seen my hubby act like someone threw the 'old man' switch on bad days and be fine an hour after an emergency whole egg omelette.  And advocadoes, salmon, all that stuff.  If your brain doesn't have enough 'grease' it can't run right.

Whoot!  they just called as I was looking for the post tags.  I'm outta here!

Edit: So very worth the trouble.  Turns out the forward catalytic converter was a heap of rust.  Apparently all the previous times the car had been fixed, they had cheated and only slapped on a new back one. Which explains the constant fumes in the cab that the other shops had always told me were just 'old car smell'.  The repair man said that the CAP program had not even approved the repair yet, explaining the delays, and was telling him yesterday that the paper work was all backlogged and they would pay him 'eventually', so I paid my share and he released the car anyway.  Thank goodness he's a good guy.  We're sticking with that shop from now on.  Yet another good thing from a bad situation.    

Monday, August 18, 2014

Garden Envy Strikes!

Being stuck without the car for much longer than expected has left me dead from the heat, sore from bike riding to get the most important stuff done no matter what in 100 degree heat, and dying for salad greens.  We have a tiny back yard that I have no time for anything more than watering the plants I saved in the move; one straggling white star jasmine and two rose bushes slowly recovering their former glory and desperately in need of re-potting and more soil.

I have attempted to pull weeds while watering. >.>;;  Hence the yellow bucket.  

The dirt back there is useless, a combination of motor oil, clay and sand.  We can thank the last evicted tenant for the motor oil, but the one before them had made a japanese rock garden that I'm attempting to re-sus.  The plan was to go all potted plants, with maybe a few dug in to make a place to photo my dolls outside.

Now it's WAR!  I want to grow veg!  I want fresh salad greens! But I have 4 X 10 feet of useless dirt.  And my trip to find a cat nip plant at the local nursery last week gave me serious garden envy.

Score!  I found a book at the library that has been devoured, ingested, and sunk into the little grey cells.  Indoor Kitchen Gardening.  Now the first step is finding sprouting seeds locally to avoid the amazon drone charges or what ever.  Every "health food store" in our area is nothing more than a pill box.  Vitamins, powdered goop and compressed bars all presented like a high end perfume counter.  Not a natural thing in sight!  I've got one last place to try calling today, IF they are open on Mondays, and then we're stuck with Amazon or nothing.  Supposedly, we can start cheaply with just sprouts and work our way up to micro-greens when we can afford the trays and dirt and so forth.  But the back yard....?

Then hubby found this!  YouTube is a wonderful thing.  So many great vids on container gardening!  But this guy is brilliant!


Not only can this method be inside as well as out, it's less apt to grow weeds, the gophers wouldn't get at them from beneath, and the possums would find it too open to be comfortable nibbling away (I hope...). The only thing that annoys me is that according to the book, Spinach doesn't like it over 85 degrees, and most of the time it's over that inside, so I can't help thinking no baby spinach, boo hoo!  Won't stop me from trying, though.

So, the plan is: get sprouting started, just something to throw on the plate for super fresh greens.  Then graduate to a flat or three of rotating micro-greens from the same seed mix.  Then get the wire shelving from Target, and set up some bottle planters in the living room window area.  Hope by next Spring to see about some larger tubs, or those hanging bag planters I've seen, on the patio for zuccini and tomatoes (the weed vegs you can not kill unless with kindness) along with some rosemary and thyme and things.  Eventually I want to get a dwarf lemon and maybe an orange.  But the idea of just having fresh picked salad from the living room window to the kitchen table is too very tempting!  And just the idea of having that fresh green growing things smell in the apartment is cheering.  Being able to garden even when it's too hot to go outside is a major plus, especially for the hubby.

In the mean time, I may just raid the cat's catnip and barly grass for an omelette. O_o

Do not buy cat nip and wheat/barley at the pet food stores.  It's usually sun starved, over watered and  pretty much a zombie for 7 bucks a plant, and dies in a few days.  The nursery usually has the same plants and seed packets for less than 3 bucks.  If you are stuck with the pet store, buy the seed kits, you'll get a longer lived plant for your money.  

Thursday, August 14, 2014

All Current Projects Have Photo Updates

I'm dead tired, it's not been a fun day, but I got progress photos.  Looks like it's going to be another month until I get my hypothyroid sorted.  We found out today the car repair is going to cost more than the original estimate, over the CAP program allowance, and yeah, it's not pretty being in this mess.  That whole "this too shall pass" thing, nope, just not happening.  I call bullshit.

The hubby is trying to find us some pretty weird movies to watch to try to keep the stress down.  I thought Sharknado was pretty wacky, but add to that Sharktopus and Sharktopus vrs Pterracuda, and you've got total plausibility fail, LOL!   For a real strangely surreal one, try Space Milkshake; about an orbital trash collection station and time warpage, combined with raging egos and relationship issues.  Yeah, you have to just watch it, trust me...it's hysterical, and Amanda Pays is in it so it has Sci-Fi street cred.  Gorgeous set, I wouldn't mind having my walls done up like the station's.  For Godzilla fans, a sort of rip off, but marvelous Jamaican photography, Poseidon Rex. If you think Tom Cruise acts like a tree branch, there's a coast gaurd cop in this movie that acts like he missed his own funeral.  (We borrow from a video library place we had a subscription to before the stroke.)

Here's to a saner tomorrow.

Monday, August 11, 2014

I'm Getting There! ^_^

Despite the internal mess up this weekend from the thyroid issue, I managed to move forward on a lot of work.  Everything has been cut out and is being worked on.  I have stacks of pinned stuff; pin, sew, press, pin, sew.  I even managed to get my tutorial for BJDCollectasy done and sent in.  It's a double up this month to make up for missing last month.

Surfer Shorts

Next week end's tutorial will be a riff off the Japanese jimbe top, which is a sort of comfy pajama but casual outfit, very comfortable in a hot humid climate.  It normally has a feather stitch open weave type join from sleeve to shoulder but with a doll's fingers, un-unh, so it's more hanten than jimbe, but it's a neat simple top to make for beginners.

We're taking a break from Physical Therapy this week because the doctor is on vacation and our car is in the shop for the repairs.  That means more work time for me!  Thank goodness I called the Consumer bureau and got some help finding an honest shop to go to.  The first one I called after googling a Star shop (licensed for doing the California emissions law work) is not only no longer licensed to do the CAP work, but wanted $180 cash before he'd even look at the car!  I'm learning more than I ever wanted to know about how social infrastructural government works.

I finally got the doctor to break down and give me a referral to the endocrinologist, which has been sent for the insurance to approve this week, so I'm really hoping that I'll get some medication to help me cope with the thyroid issues.  The thing is most appointments are a month away, no matter what.  I swear you could be dying and they don't have an opening any sooner than next month.  This makes 5 months since my diagnosis and counting.  O_o  And it's going to be a fight to get a medication that doesn't make me even sicker.

Who knew all this time, almost all my health issues were on the list of things caused by hypothyroid. O_o  I found this site called Stop the Madness.  Yeah, all this time I've been "a hypochondriac,  'it's all in your head', you're crazy, blah blah blah" and it's actually a real health problem.  The chest pains are super scary, but oh yeah, nothing wrong with my heart! And the ticking pain in my head on really hot days, probably the nerve end damage.  And I was scared silly it was take out mexican food and a brain worm, >.>;;  At least the hubby is doing well.  It's good to see him getting around slowly but surely on the quad-walker, but he tires out very fast still.  Having him able to stand up, being able to hug him again with out all the complications of the wheel chair, means so much.

Yeah I know, TMI!

Happy Monday, I'm going back to work playing with dollies. There will be a lot of photo updates this week, I just needed to wait for my minutes to roll over with T-moble again.

P.S.  Festive Attyre has the most gorgeous and brilliant post on painting fabric!  Sometimes things just fall into place when you need them the most.





Monday, August 4, 2014

Happy Birthday, Tama-chuu!

It's Tama's 'official' birthday.  We figured since the vet said he was just 2 weeks old when we found him, he must have been born on Aug 4, during the Chino Earthquake.  I think his mum must have been transfering kittens to a new nest and lost the little guy in the process.  Anyway, he's 6 now and owns the place.  He's getting a catnip plant from the local gardening center and some roasted (non-salt soaked) chicken minced up for his special dinner.  

cell phone photo of pretty much every morning.  "Oh, are you awake?" 

Saturday, August 2, 2014

How it Really Is.


Yes, It's Finally Come to a Loud Scream.  Do not read this unless you can face other people's problems, but this is our reality for the past 7 months. I wanted to delete all the personal posts and not whine, do not mistake this for a whine, these are the Facts.  I've done the smiling and nodding thing and 'we're doing fine' thing for months now and it's not convincing ME any more.  It's getting better, but IT'S GOING TO TAKE TIME.  That's WHY I've dedicated this month to catching up with ALL the orders I have on the books, I want this OVER WITH!